Now that is what I call support!

I have just finished my first counselling/therapy session, which was really tough as I have tried to avoid thinking about my little boy's accident so having to retell the whole thing was emotional to say the least. The best bit is that my loving hubby collected me and I suggested that we grab a cup of coffee - total waste of time. We are, sorry I am, negotiating with the banks at the moment to try to make sure they don't foreclose on our home but somehow hubby has managed to take out €700 from his account to pay a garage bill of €175 and can't account for the rest of the money - but it is all my fault becuase I dare to question him on it. Not much point trying to resolve my emotional issues so I can deal with the financial issues if he insists on being so petulant about his money

ambitions

I had to complete a form yesterday for a course I am taking. There were two whole empty pages stretching out in front of me in which I had to give details of who I am, what are my skills and most importantly what are my ambitions. I had to think about that one, I know I used to have ambitions once, but for the life of me I can't remember them! I resigned myself to the fact that anyone filling out the same form who start with the statement: "I am a wife and mother of two small children, working full time...." would end it with "With two small children, my greatest ambition is to get a full nights sleep..."

above the clouds

I travel a lot with work and have to drive past the Airport alot. I still get really excited when a plane flys low over my head, coming in to land. My kids think I am mad - but then they think I am some crazy old lady anyway! The reason for my love of planes in flight? No matter how bad the weather is, the sun is always shining above the clouds - you just need a plane to get there ( I need to go and lie down now after those deep and meaningful thoughts!)

Cala Lillies - simple beauty

Cala lillies were crying out to me today - I was in South Africa along time ago and could not believe how they grew everywhere, especially as they are so expensive here. Their elegant beauty hides how strong and resillient they are, I like that

starting therapy

When I listened to the morning radio DJ giving out advice for people suffering from codine addiction, and the thought crossed my mind that maybe that would make me feel better, I figured it was time I accepted that I am in serious trouble. I have my first therapy session tomorrow, and I am petrefied. I have been keeping a lid on so many tears for so long now that I am terrified to even go there. There is a great line in "The Lord of the Rings" where Bilbo says something like " I feel thin, like butter spread over too much bread" - to this day it is still the most resonant description of parenting young children I can find! I sit alone in an office all day, so I am sending this out into the ether, my own version of therapy I guess